Author’s note: this post breaks all the rules about the length that a good post should be but I so don’t care!
To start off with an update on both patients: Cameron could not be doing better. He’s really healthy and just completely adorable. We have no concerns about him at the moment other than the standard preemie baby ones (i.e learning to suck and keeping his under-developed immune system safe from infection). What a champion! I’m feeling strong, managing to move around easily and am not in too much pain all things considered.
We’ve had a number of breakthroughs today.
1. I could have a shower (first one since Sunday) and wash my hair. It was heaven!
2. I had an hour of kangaroo care with Cameron (that’s skin to skin care – google it if you want more info). It was so awesome to just to sit and bond with him.
3. I changed my first nappy! (I know I’ve opened myself up to them, but no snide comments please.) It was a really gooey, gross one but I didn’t care in the least. I had been struggling with the fact that I wasn’t learning how to care for him and was just so excited to be able to do something.
4. Cameron and I managed our first breast feed. He took a while to figure out what was expected of him, but got it in the end. The sucking reflex doesn’t fully develop until 37 weeks (he’s 36 today) so it’s hard work for him but we’ll keep practising.
5. Col changed his first nappy! There was no gooey grossness to be seen (snide comments are now welcome.)
6. Col got to hold his baby boy for the first time (this should really be number one but I’m listing them as they happened not in order of mind-blowing marvellousness.) It was the most precious moment to witness. Col’s been incredibly patient but it’s been a long wait for him.
7. Col got an hour of kangaroo care. So much bonding going on – its just brilliant.
We’re working on a day-to-day basis for the next week. I am being discharged tomorrow but Cameron can only go home when he’s established his feeds. The process for this is progressive and depends very much on how he responds so we have no idea how long it will take. If all goes well we’ll be able to take him home early next week. While this is hard, we’ve been separated from him since his birth and that makes it easier. The hospital only allows the mother to lodge (stay over) for the night before the baby is discharged so there is going to be a lot of driving backwards and forwards (and of course I cant drive myself because of the op; logistical challenges loom but we’ll make it work.) We are focusing firmly on positives and are going to try and use the time to recover some strength. For the next two or three days I won’t have to be at the hospital very much, and as much as I want to spend time with our boy, I figure I should try to get some sleep in preparation for when the feeding establishment process gets really hectic.
On Sunday when I was having my ‘I’m having a baby in 2 hours’ freak out, my friend Katy wisely said that God would give me grace to deal with each thing as it came. I’m really finding this to be true. I feel like I’m in some kind of calm bubble. Every now and then something will get through and I’ll have a stressed or tearful moment, but a few reminders of all the positives restores my perspective and sense of peace. This bubble may burst soon (the three day blues are expected tomorrow according to all the books) but I’m appreciating it while I can.
To sum up there are challenges to be dealt with but then our boy arrived a whole month early so there were bound to be. Col and I fall more in love with Cameron every time we see him, are marvelling at his teeny-tinyness and enjoying what interaction we have with him. We are so excited for the day when we can take home and you can come and meet him. In the meantime I’ll post more pics on Facebook.
PS Sorry about any typos. One my brain is turning to goo, and two I’m using my phone to type this which is a touch challenging.