First trimester, second time round

From the beginning I am finding this pregnancy to be utterly different to my first. This doesn’t surprise me as I’ve heard from many people that each pregnancy is different, but some of the ways in which things are different have been surprising.

To begin with, I knew a week before I took a test that I was pregnant. What’s more, I trusted this intuition (which I am sure it was grateful for, because it took a real pounding when we were trying to fall pregnant with Cameron). I had intense cramps one Wednesday afternoon and after doing a few calculations realized they must be implantation cramps. After than it was just a matter of waiting long enough to take the test. Incidentally, those two pink lines were incredibly faint, but as I had none of the self-doubt of before, I confidently whispered the happy news into Colin’s ear none-the-less.

As for my physical symptoms, I only experienced a few days of nausea this time (ever so grateful for that), but the exhaustion was absolutely shattering. Chasing after a toddler made this more challenging, but as I wasn’t working this time I could rest a lot more. By happy coincidence my parents were staying with us for much of the time too and they provided much-needed Cameron-caring help. Another factor in the exhaustion is that when I fell pregnant I was still breastfeeding Cameron twice a day. After a few weeks I cut this back to only once, which helped marginally as well.

Emotionally though, I am finding this quite a tough pregnancy. For some reason the hormone mix of the first trimester left me feeling rather blue. I recognised that my view on things wasn’t realistic and made a concerted effort not to think too much! I didn’t journal at all, and tried to avoid the temptation to get all introspective. Strangely, I have also been plagued by nightmares which often leave me with an uneasy feeling at the start of the day.

A few weeks into my second trimester I am already sporting a noticeable bump. I’m also aware of numerous odd aches and pains, and have already paid my first visit to the physio for backache. But I am starting to feel more positive (even if I do still feel the need to cry at ridiculous times – like after voting in Wednesday’s national elections). My energy levels are starting to improve too. I even made it through today without taking a nap!

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A season of Specklet

At the end of February, we made the happy discovery that I am pregnant again. A number of factors have resulted in me feeling far more relaxed this time round. Firstly, we weren’t worried about how long it would take to fall pregnant and were mentally prepared for a long wait. Then of course it took merely a month!

Secondly, we are no longer clueless parents-to-be. We know what we are in for! I know what exhaustion and chaos awaits, but I also know how one manages to adapt as one goes. Neither am I as obsessed about how the birth of this child takes place (by that I mean natural versus caesarean). Having had such an eventful previous pregnancy with going into labour at 32 weeks and then Cameron being delivered by C-section at 35 weeks, I’m really not planning too much for this one. I learnt last time how little I have control over this process and just rolling with the punches seems to be a better approach.

Being our first child and the first grandchild on both sides of the family, Cameron was such a highly anticipated baby that I felt constant pressure to share what was going on. Granted, much of this was self-inflicted pressure, and in many instances I was processing things as I wrote them for this blog. This time I am feeling much more protective of my journey.

I do still want to write about it because the record these posts provide is a real treasure to me already, but I am sharing a bit more selectively and much more in my own time. My anticipation and enthusiasm for this baby is by no means less than what I felt when carrying Cameron, I am simply enjoying the process for myself before opening up to others about it.

So here is to the season of Specklet! The due date is 5 November. This means that I am preparing for arrival any time from the middle of October, and in truly ironic style, this baby will probably go way past term. Our two scans to date have shown a thriving foetus, and all seems to be progressing marvellously so far. The thrill of those first images gave me goose bumps and the miracle of a growing life is blowing my socks off afresh!

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