Introducing Aiden

At 8:59 on Tuesday morning our son Aiden Mackenzie Rip was born. He came into the world five weeks ahead of schedule and via an emergency cesarean. On Sunday afternoon Colin brought me to the hospital because I was having contractions again. I was admitted and the initial assessment was that I had a urinary tract infection. However on Monday morning tests showed this not to be the case and after a kidney sonor, the doctor was on the verge of discharging me. However during a routine check of the baby’s heartbeat the nurse noticed that Aiden’s heart rate had decelerated while I was having a contraction – a sign of distress. I then went to the gynea for a scan and although everything looked good, he decided to keep me for another night for observation. During the night Aiden’s heart rate repeatedly dropped, although this time without any contractions being present and the gynea scheduled the c-section as soon as he’d seen the results of the night’s observations.

So our little boy is now two days old. Lung x-Rays showed that he either had fluid on his lungs or congenital pneumonia. A sonor of his lungs yesterday showed them to be clear of fluid so he’s on antibiotics for the pneumonia. They are going to do a blood test this morning to test the level of infection and will then increase or decrease the duration of the antibiotics depending. At the moment he is unable to digest anything. They are feeding him intravenously and trying him on 2ml of breastmilk every three hours. I am getting to know my breastpump again and getting a nice stockpile of milk going!

I am doing well but finding the recovery from the cesarean much more painful than last time (although it’s possible I’ve just forgotten how bad it was). I was mobilized yesterday and Col and I both had our first Aiden cuddles yesterday afternoon – Col got first dibs this time round!

The first occurrence of premature labour was on 3 September and Aiden’s arrival brought to a close a long and taxing month. Both Col and I are finding our emotional capacity to be a little thin. Col is having to balance work with hospital visits as well as playing the role of single dad to a demanding two-year old. Between my parents and Colin’s mom we’ve got an amazing amount of help with Cameron but logistics are complicated at the moment!

I am finding the NICU aspect of things much harder this time. When Cameron was in NICU everything was overwhelming and new and I sort of developed tunnel-vision. Now so much of it is familiar and it’s almost as if I have more capacity to notice other things as a result. I am far more conscious of all the wires and tubes attached to my baby. He just seems far too tiny to be in the world and I find myself getting tearful when I’m with him.

Besides all of that though I think we are both struggling to process the emotional fall out from Tuesday morning. The gynea said that if he’d discharged us on Monday I probably would have noticed a decrease in Aiden’s movements but by the time I did anything about it, it might have been too late. The doctor’s relief was palpable when Aiden was delivered and it was only when we saw that, that we realized how serious the situation had been. As the days pass I’m sure the gratitude we have for our healthy boy will override the fear of the close call. At the moment it’s a bit raw though and creeps up on us at unexpected moments.

I’ll try for another post later today or tomorrow with another update (the fact that I have the energy and desire to blog again is definitely a good sign). But for now, nap time!

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