The terrors of teething: A report from Major Dad

For the last month we’ve lost our delightful, happy little boy to the terrors of teething. The poor child seems to be an all-or-nothing sort of chap and is cutting four teeth at once. It has been tough on all of us and reached a peak this week with high fevers and severely disrupted nights. In an attempt at laughter (because if we don’t laugh we’ll cry), my husband has written the following report …

Day 21: The hostage drama continues

  • Date: 23 May 2013
  • Time: 20h09
  • Status: All quiet on the western front

Negotiations broke down again yesterday as the USP (United State of Parents) could not meet the demands of ALkidda and their supreme leader, Camsama bin Cryden, AKA “The Baby Terrorist”.

Since the first tooth broke out in this most recent skirmish, the situation has become volatile and unpredictable. Despite periods of calm during the day, the upstairs quadrant erupts into a fire fight each night.

The USP has a numbers advantage against the insurgent and out numbers the enemy 2 to 1. In spite of their overwhelming supremacy and array of weapons, including teething gel, paracetamol, suppositories, rocking, singing, feeding and tag teaming, the home cell of ALkidda has continued to rule with an iron fist.

The fighting reached a peak last night and the USP was forced to bring a weapon of mass sleep persuasion into the fray. The tank, AKA “The Pram”, was deployed to the upstairs quadrant in an attempt to control the threat.

ALkidda countered with guerilla tactics, faking sleep until removed from the tank. He then launched a furious counter-attack of screaming and dirty nappies which defeated the USP in the Battle of the Bedroom.

As we await the first pitched battle of the evening, I write this report from a trench on the front line.

To all members of the United State of Parents Army – good luck and good night.

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Seven month update

In the last month Cameron has left the little baby phase firmly behind him and occasionally we get glimpses of the little boy he is becoming. He has two teeth already and is enjoying solid food. Nothing is safe from his roving hands and absolutely everything he gets a hold on goes straight into his mouth. He rolls over at every opportunity which makes nappy changes a whole lot more interesting. He has started sitting up unassisted but topples over after a few seconds so we have to be careful where we try this trick. Toys that crinkle are his absolute favourite which means that paper and especially cellophane are far more in demand than anything else in his toy box. He loves being outside and a grumpy baby is instantly transformed into a happy one if I put him on a blanket under a tree. He is getting increasingly fed up with his stationary state in life and is experimenting with his limbs in a desperate attempt to move. So far he has mastered turning around but forward motion still eludes him.

When faced with new situations and people Cameron goes into ‘observation mode’. He sits quietly, chewing on his fingers and simply looks at everything with an expression of rapt concentration on his little face. Once he’s seen all there is to see he starts to relax and then giggles and smiles abound. Peek-a-boo is his favourite game – he particularly loves it when we cover his head with a blanket and he has to fight his way free. He has the cutest little chuckle and I can easily sit for half an hour with him, just trying to make him laugh.

There are so many high points in my days right now. From the moment I wake up and Cam greets me with a grin, to the giggles we have while playing and his scrumptious baby smell after his bath, I am really starting to understand how rewarding parenting can be.

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