First trimester, second time round

From the beginning I am finding this pregnancy to be utterly different to my first. This doesn’t surprise me as I’ve heard from many people that each pregnancy is different, but some of the ways in which things are different have been surprising.

To begin with, I knew a week before I took a test that I was pregnant. What’s more, I trusted this intuition (which I am sure it was grateful for, because it took a real pounding when we were trying to fall pregnant with Cameron). I had intense cramps one Wednesday afternoon and after doing a few calculations realized they must be implantation cramps. After than it was just a matter of waiting long enough to take the test. Incidentally, those two pink lines were incredibly faint, but as I had none of the self-doubt of before, I confidently whispered the happy news into Colin’s ear none-the-less.

As for my physical symptoms, I only experienced a few days of nausea this time (ever so grateful for that), but the exhaustion was absolutely shattering. Chasing after a toddler made this more challenging, but as I wasn’t working this time I could rest a lot more. By happy coincidence my parents were staying with us for much of the time too and they provided much-needed Cameron-caring help. Another factor in the exhaustion is that when I fell pregnant I was still breastfeeding Cameron twice a day. After a few weeks I cut this back to only once, which helped marginally as well.

Emotionally though, I am finding this quite a tough pregnancy. For some reason the hormone mix of the first trimester left me feeling rather blue. I recognised that my view on things wasn’t realistic and made a concerted effort not to think too much! I didn’t journal at all, and tried to avoid the temptation to get all introspective. Strangely, I have also been plagued by nightmares which often leave me with an uneasy feeling at the start of the day.

A few weeks into my second trimester I am already sporting a noticeable bump. I’m also aware of numerous odd aches and pains, and have already paid my first visit to the physio for backache. But I am starting to feel more positive (even if I do still feel the need to cry at ridiculous times – like after voting in Wednesday’s national elections). My energy levels are starting to improve too. I even made it through today without taking a nap!

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The first of the foothills

I consider myself a neat and organised person, and as a result swiftly brushed aside all promises that when Speckle arrives my house will descend into a state of chaos. Much of this advice came from my mom, who claims that she was just like me when she was my age, and which I’ve struggled to believe at times. You see, my mom’s house has one or two rooms filled with towering piles of stuff that need sorting. We call these Mount Everest, and she’s always attempting to eliminate them. Mostly they just seem to migrate.

When the first trimester tiredness hit at week seven, cleaning up after myself swiftly fell into the category of non-essential activities. Within weeks, foothills of ‘stuff to sort’ had starting springing up everywhere. One day it dawned on me that I had my own Everest swiftly thrusting its way into my home and that’s when it happened … my first preggie meltdown. I didn’t have the energy to do anything about the situation, but its very presence buried me in despair. I hid myself under my duvet and sobbed my heart out, while Colin desperately tried to extract some understanding of what was wrong. Wails of ‘my life is already falling apart’ and similar sentiments were discernible from time to time.

And so began my first big lesson – give yourself a break! I tend to be really hard on myself, but was forced to re-evaluate my priorities in the face of my non-existent energy. Now that I’m into my second trimester and feeling a lot better I have to remind myself of this. Those foothills don’t clear themselves in a day, especially as I’ve adopted a slower pace in general.

What’s more, I suspect that when Speckle does make his or her appearance, the quest to conquer Everest will become a lot harder. Let’s just hope it won’t be insurmountable!

Hello world!

I’m Speckle (or Baby-Rip), and I’m about 13 weeks old now. I’m only 7cm long, but check out my fully formed bone structure – pretty cool I dare say. At this stage, I’m expected to make my appearance into this big, wide world at the end of September. Mom and Dad are jumping up and down with excitement – more about their journey so far to follow soon.