From the beginning I am finding this pregnancy to be utterly different to my first. This doesn’t surprise me as I’ve heard from many people that each pregnancy is different, but some of the ways in which things are different have been surprising.
To begin with, I knew a week before I took a test that I was pregnant. What’s more, I trusted this intuition (which I am sure it was grateful for, because it took a real pounding when we were trying to fall pregnant with Cameron). I had intense cramps one Wednesday afternoon and after doing a few calculations realized they must be implantation cramps. After than it was just a matter of waiting long enough to take the test. Incidentally, those two pink lines were incredibly faint, but as I had none of the self-doubt of before, I confidently whispered the happy news into Colin’s ear none-the-less.
As for my physical symptoms, I only experienced a few days of nausea this time (ever so grateful for that), but the exhaustion was absolutely shattering. Chasing after a toddler made this more challenging, but as I wasn’t working this time I could rest a lot more. By happy coincidence my parents were staying with us for much of the time too and they provided much-needed Cameron-caring help. Another factor in the exhaustion is that when I fell pregnant I was still breastfeeding Cameron twice a day. After a few weeks I cut this back to only once, which helped marginally as well.
Emotionally though, I am finding this quite a tough pregnancy. For some reason the hormone mix of the first trimester left me feeling rather blue. I recognised that my view on things wasn’t realistic and made a concerted effort not to think too much! I didn’t journal at all, and tried to avoid the temptation to get all introspective. Strangely, I have also been plagued by nightmares which often leave me with an uneasy feeling at the start of the day.
A few weeks into my second trimester I am already sporting a noticeable bump. I’m also aware of numerous odd aches and pains, and have already paid my first visit to the physio for backache. But I am starting to feel more positive (even if I do still feel the need to cry at ridiculous times – like after voting in Wednesday’s national elections). My energy levels are starting to improve too. I even made it through today without taking a nap!
With only a few weeks left before Speckle arrives, the question we are being asked most frequently is ‘Have you decided on a name?’ The answer to this is yes, but before you get excited, I am not going to tell you what it is! That happy announcement will only be made when Speckle’s safely made his way into the world. There are a few reasons for this. Firstly, we’ve been pretty open about our journey so far and it’s sort of nice to have a secret for a change. Secondly, my mom changed her mind about my name three days after I was born (I even got cards saying, ‘Welcome to the world Kirin’) and I want to give myself the option of changing my mind when I see our little boy.
So sorry, but you’ll just have to be patient. What I will tell you, however, is a bit about the process we’ve gone through trying to name our son. Let me start off by saying that I got to know an incredibly analytical side to my husband while these discussions were taking place. I adopted a sort of ‘read through the book and see what jumps out at you’ approach, while Col was far more methodical. Potential candidates had to meet the following criteria:
- Must start with ‘C’ (this because we’ve decided to give Speckle the same initials as Col – CMR).
- Must be a strong name.
- Must be a traditional English name.
- Must not have an Afrikaans equivalent, or the child will spend his life having his name mispronounced as we live in a predominantly Afrikaans city.
- Must not be the same as anyone who Col went to school with, but whom he did not like.
This last one was by far the hardest to meet as Col went to Pretoria Boys High, meaning there were hundreds of boys in his year. In addition, the irrational side of Col came through here because when I asked why he didn’t like a particular boy, he usually just said, ‘Because.’ Using forceful arguments of association, I managed to get this criteria bumped pretty far down the list (although I think our chosen name does have a previous ‘owner’, but thankfully one who didn’t seem to rub Col up the wrong way).
The name discussions took place way back in May, and the winner was selected before Col left for Scotland in June. As Col and I both tend to be sharers by nature, it’s been tough to keep it under wraps this long so if your innocent query about a name was met with hostility, I do apologise. Put it down to hormones on my part, and fear of my hormones on Col’s!