Daddy and his two boyz

Between working on Cameron’s baby book and the arrival of my nephew last week, I am all babied up at the moment. I’m glad to see it’s not just me, and that my husband, Colin, is just as excited about our growing family …

Although I often feel the urge to write, I have normally talked myself out of it by the time Cam goes down for the night. I have heard that myth about men and women – you know the one about how women have thousands of words a day and men are supposed to have three. That rule definitely does not apply to me! In our house the roles are reversed. Lucy runs out of words long before I have even warmed up. (At least when I am in court, I am being paid to talk.)

Cam is about to turn two and he is like a human parrot. He tries to repeat any word he hears. This means I have to be extra careful not to curse or scream at the ref in front of him. I think the upcoming birthday and the fact that Number Two’s literal birthday is coming up has made me pause and reflect.

The last year has been challenging for me on the work and financial front but in my personal life I have never been happier. Cameron has blossomed and I am so proud of him! He has a wonderful disposition and I know he is going to grow up to be a good guy, full of love and affection.

I also know that he is going to be great older brother. I am so excited about the idea of my ‘Boyz’. I am of course nervous about being able to give the next one the same love and attention but I know from experience with Cam that there is a part of my heart already reserved for Number Two and that upon his arrival it will explode like an empty field after the dry season.

The major difference with Cam between the ages of 0-1 and 1-2 can be explained by the difference in my reaction to him crying and a little man calling, ‘Daddy!’ I’ve gotten pretty good at tuning out the crying, but a call for ‘Daddy’ will get me out of bed no matter what time it is. The first year was hard work and Cam was not a good sleeper. The second year has in comparison been a breeze. It is so rewarding when after teaching and showing Cam how to hug and kiss and say, ‘I love you’, he does those things of his own accord.

Cam’s first cousin has arrived, little Caleb, and seeing that tiny baby and becoming an uncle has just made me even more excited for the arrival of our new baby. Visions of backyard cricket, camping out, golf, swimming, running, jumping and wrestling swarm before me.

Everyone keeps asking me if we will try for a full fourball but I tell them that with Lucy we will already be one. Maybe we’ll change our minds about this, I don’t know. What I do know is that I can see in Cam the effort , love and attention Lucy has put in. I also can see the wonderful cumulative effect of our support structure that includes grandparents, friends and other family.

There are some things in life that you know will be awesome before you have even experienced them, like playing golf at St Andrews or the Springboks winning the World Cup. I am so grateful that having a family is one of those things.

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Boy, oh boy!

At our most recent scan, the first image that greeted us was this one:

Capture

Despite the notorious difficulty most people have seeing anything on a sonar, this is quite obviously confirmation of the fact that we are indeed having another boy! As with so many things, finding out the gender of this baby has been a completely different experience.

I got it all so right the last time – I had an inkling that we were having a boy, but I didn’t let my imagination run away with me. This time round I completely messed up! I was utterly convinced that we were having a girl and my first reaction when seeing that little penis was ‘Are you sure?’ I will man up (excuse the pun) and admit that I was disappointed. My first thought when I left the doctor’s rooms was, ‘I’ll never be mother-of-the bride’ and I will confess to having a little cry when I got to the car.

At first, the idea of another boy was incredibly overwhelming. When we made the discovery Cameron was in his first real ‘defiance’ phase and I just thought, ‘Good gracious, there’s going to be two of them!’ Twice the energy, twice the dare-devil antics, twice the fearlessness. I also found myself struggling to imagine another boy as the concept of a little boy is so wrapped up in Cameron. I know this baby is going to be completely different, but just as I couldn’t imagine what Cameron was going to be like, I couldn’t imagine what another boy would be like either. But I have always been a tomboy at heart and it wasn’t long before I started to get really excited. Someone also said to us that while a pigeon pair is nice for the parents, siblings of the same sex often have a closer relationship, especially if they aren’t far apart in age. So please hear me loud and clear when I say that I am thrilled about having another boy. It’s going to be great!

Yet at the same time, a separate part of me had to come to terms with the fact that we aren’t having a girl. There is always the possibility of another baby, but both Colin and I feel that two is our number and therefore there was a bit of grieving to do. Simply put, there’s a vast array of mothering experiences that I just won’t have. In my haste to embrace this baby I initially pushed this knowledge aside and it caught up with me a few weeks later while I was having breakfast with a couple of friends. I suddenly found myself in floods of tears in the middle of the mall, blurting out incoherent statements, which, being women, my friends somehow understood!

The reality is though, all families are different and I have no idea what ours will look like in a few years time. For now I am appreciating the ways that having another a boy is making some things simpler (for example we have so much ‘boy stuff’ already) and am getting excited about meeting our new little man!